The Impossibility of It All: When is Love Enough?

The Impossibility of It All: When is Love Enough?: When is love enough? When is love enough for you to move past all of things that made you cry, all the things that made you say I can’t...

When is Love Enough?

When is love enough?

When is love enough for you to move past all of things that made you cry, all the things that made you say I can’t do this anymore, or I’ll just settle for good enough?

Love is this magical, awesome, wondrous thing that makes the birds sing and give you rainbows and unicorns all the time. Then there are the hurt “loves”. The love you are in that hurts you, emotionally / physically. The love that stifles you and stunts your growth, the love that you are just use to, the love that you settle for because you feel that it is too late for anything else.

When is love strong enough, great enough to overcome all of the things that warn us of past hurts and experiences?

When is love enough to make us forget all the bad things of the past?

When is love enough to make us fight for the great love that we are destined and deserving to have?

When is love ever enough to make us whole and happy?

I wish I knew when  that moment was. That moment when you trust that the love you have is enough to make everything rainbows and unicorns. There is always  a period of time when you think yes, here it is, here is my happy but then the doubt sets in, the insecurities arise, the past comes back to yell at us, “this is too good, it won’t last, something is wrong with them”. Once those thoughts set in the rainbows fade and the unicorns all die. So now what? How strong does love have to be in order for it to enough to get past it all?

It has to be because that is what real love is.

Love is always strong enough when you totally and completely surrender to it. It is not something that is done externally, it is an internal mandate. You have to know that you are enough. That you are more than enough. That you are worthy of love that you have never known but somehow dreamed of. Love that makes the impossible seem probable. Love that moves heaven and earth just because it can.

Love does not hurt, it is not capable because of its own nature. The hurt comes from ourselves and others that use pain as a defense or is just their own nature. This understanding is simple enough but its implementation is a whole other story.

Surrendering to love is something that takes absolute trust and belief that you are worth it and everything will be alright even if it is not the alright we planned. So how do we do it, how do we take the leap of faith that we need in order to get what we want?

It is very simple, DO THE WORK.

Do the work to find out why you have the pattern relationships that always end the same way.

Do the work to see why you stay in a relationship that you know you have no business being in and should not have gotten into in the first place.

Do the work to see what it is that you want out of love.

Do the work to see what you are willing to and must give to love, a real love, a true love, a self-love.

It all begins internally with a self-love that knows no bounds, no conditions, that is complete and absolute. That is the crazy, abundant, fearless kind of love that is more than enough. It is the kind of love that inspires greatness and changes everything. It is a strong magnet that will draw to its self its own. It will lead down a path to a love that will make you believe again in rainbows and unicorns yet this time the fairytale is a true story based on you. Dare to dream of a great big love and do the work to make it strong enough. 

When the real you returns

There are times in our lives when we believe the lies that we tell ourselves about ourselves. I will give you a personal example, I for a long time thought of myself as someone that could be loved and left. Now mind you this was a deep seeded physiological defect that was engrained me and affected every relationship that I had. I was always drawn to emotionally unavailable people men especially. I had life happen to me as we all do and I learned to compartmentalize most of it. I am especially talented at compartmentalizing emotionally painfully items in my life. Then I meet someone that showed me my true self. He showed me the real me that I thought existed but never truly believed in. It was not until I deeply hurt him that I was able to see the real me. And I surprised me not because I was the bad and unlovable person that I lied to myself about  but I am a really wonderful person who needed to forgive herself for all of the hurt, guilt, and shame that I was carrying ALONE for so long. 

That barrier that kept the real me from emerging and growing was my own unforgiveness of myself.

See the saying forgive others never takes into account forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself for all of the bad decisions that you made.

Forgiving yourself for situations that you were in that were in no way under your control.

Forgiving yourself for feeling a certain way about people even when you knew better.

Forgiving yourself for carrying a burden that you were no longer to bear.

The most important forgiveness that we can give is to ourselves and then we must be honest about what we are forgiving ourselves for. It’s not just enough to say I forgive myself for loving the wrong person, we must say I forgive myself for not believing that I deserve a great love that this person could not give me. It is critical to always look at the root of an issue because it never an blanket statement, it’s always a false idea that is the seed for all of the destructive, toxic burdens that we bear.

But please know that this can all change and you can once again meet if not for the first time the real you. The you that knowingly deserves love, mercy, and grace. No matter what the situation(s) that have come up in your life the real you will always return. You just have to be open to believing it and if that person is not the person that you truly want to be it is ok because forgiveness can truly change anything. Be open to the real you and know that it is enough. 

The Impossibility of It All: Done

The Impossibility of It All: Done: Done, when are you ever truly done?  When is it enough for you to say it is over and you have to move on? There are many times when...

The Impossibility of It All: Done

The Impossibility of It All: Done: Done, when are you ever truly done?  When is it enough for you to say it is over and you have to move on? There are many times when...

Done

Done, when are you ever truly done? 

When is it enough for you to say it is over and you have to move on?

There are many times when we say we are done with something only to pick it up later that day or even the following week.

There are connections, pulls, associations, comforts that are not truly good for us and in many ways hurt us but we continue with them because of habit, obligation, or even routine.

Those routines stalk us, haunt us, and in many ways control us in to becoming that which is not best for us or not becoming that which we are destined to be so we must decide that we are truly Done.

To be truly Done with something or someone we must decide that we are worth more than the situational pain that is currently being experienced. It is and will always come done to our worth. Our value that is above the discomfort and pain that we will feel when we break free from that which is not best for us.

To be Done we must risk the “other side” of things. The side that is different from where we currently are and is unknown.

Will we be ok on the other side?

Will we be able to go on, on the other side?

Will we be able to move past the past, into the present, and press into the future?

Are we really truly worth the risk that we are about to take to be Done? To be happy, to be whole, to be healthy, to be free.

That is a difficult question if you give it an option to be a question instead of the statement I AM WORTH THE RISK.

You are worth the risk, so be Done with it and be free.

The Impossibility of It All: Is everyone having a fantastic life but you?

The Impossibility of It All: Is everyone having a fantastic life but you?: If we gauge success by what we see on social media, television, certain neighborhoods and some print, we would think that mostly everyone be...