When the real you returns

There are times in our lives when we believe the lies that we tell ourselves about ourselves. I will give you a personal example, I for a long time thought of myself as someone that could be loved and left. Now mind you this was a deep seeded physiological defect that was engrained me and affected every relationship that I had. I was always drawn to emotionally unavailable people men especially. I had life happen to me as we all do and I learned to compartmentalize most of it. I am especially talented at compartmentalizing emotionally painfully items in my life. Then I meet someone that showed me my true self. He showed me the real me that I thought existed but never truly believed in. It was not until I deeply hurt him that I was able to see the real me. And I surprised me not because I was the bad and unlovable person that I lied to myself about  but I am a really wonderful person who needed to forgive herself for all of the hurt, guilt, and shame that I was carrying ALONE for so long. 

That barrier that kept the real me from emerging and growing was my own unforgiveness of myself.

See the saying forgive others never takes into account forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself for all of the bad decisions that you made.

Forgiving yourself for situations that you were in that were in no way under your control.

Forgiving yourself for feeling a certain way about people even when you knew better.

Forgiving yourself for carrying a burden that you were no longer to bear.

The most important forgiveness that we can give is to ourselves and then we must be honest about what we are forgiving ourselves for. It’s not just enough to say I forgive myself for loving the wrong person, we must say I forgive myself for not believing that I deserve a great love that this person could not give me. It is critical to always look at the root of an issue because it never an blanket statement, it’s always a false idea that is the seed for all of the destructive, toxic burdens that we bear.

But please know that this can all change and you can once again meet if not for the first time the real you. The you that knowingly deserves love, mercy, and grace. No matter what the situation(s) that have come up in your life the real you will always return. You just have to be open to believing it and if that person is not the person that you truly want to be it is ok because forgiveness can truly change anything. Be open to the real you and know that it is enough.