The Impossibility of It All: Is everyone having a fantastic life but you?

The Impossibility of It All: Is everyone having a fantastic life but you?: If we gauge success by what we see on social media, television, certain neighborhoods and some print, we would think that mostly everyone be...

Is everyone having a fantastic life but you?

If we gauge success by what we see on social media, television, certain neighborhoods and some print, we would think that mostly everyone besides us have a great life, more money, and less problems than us.

If we gauge others external displays as a basis for our internal expectations then we will always pull the short straw. With all of the Housewives, Love and whatever, etc. many people are putting their lives on display to show how great they have it and how much better their lives are. The travel to exotic places, get invited to the best parties, and get tons of free expensive stuff. All in the name of “celebrity”. Yet is all the glitter gold or fool’s gold?


Are their lives really so much better than ours?

Is the life they lead really the life that we want?

For some the answer is yes. For others the answer is I do not know but some of their money would help me out a great deal.

With others’ lives comes others problems. Our problems are the ones that we can handle. Are we really prepared to handle someone else’s?

The greener grass may be artificial turf covering up swampland. You never truly know what is going on in your neighbor’s house and many times, you really do not want to.

The falsehood of comparing ones’ life to that of another is an act of crazed futility. There will always be someone better, smarter, faster, richer but when you compare yourself to your former self now that is a comparison that is rooted in growth and promise.

When you compare who you are now to who you were then, are you a better version of you? If no, then why not?


Where you so busy comparing yourself to the outside world, you have failed to do what was necessary to improve you. When you focus on what you need to do be a better you, to get yourself in a better situation, then you become “The Jones”. You become that which you aspire to be and obtain the things that you have always desired. Then you can truly look at yourself and say I am having a fantastic life instead of falsely believing that everyone else around you is. 

How do you stop Fear?

How do you stop fear?

How do you stop the paralyzing anxiety of the bad that may nor may not happen?

How do you trust that will all work out for your good?

How do you wait purposefully while all appears lost?

Those are the fear-based questions that I asked myself today. The answer is quite simple I yelled, cried, and kept going. See fear is something that never quite goes away. It is always on the horizon looking for ways to steal our joy, love, and hope. The only true way to combat it is to go through it. I had to confront my fears head on and find their true root cause.

What was my fear really based on?

Was I truly afraid of the possible outcomes of the situation or was it something else?

I know it was something deeper rooted and more sinister. It was my fear of lack. See humans are fearful of many things but the main ones are fear of poverty (or as I like to call it a fear of lack), fear of ill health, fear of loss of love, fear of old age, fear of criticism. At one point and time, most of us have dealt with all of these maybe all at once if it was a particularly bad week. There are things that life throws at us that we can either take or reject and fight tooth and nail. Despite the fact that I have fought most fears the ones that consistently return are the fear of lack and fear of loss of love. Of those two, the fear of lack is my most pressing. I have to be conscious of the thoughts that attempt to take root and make sure that the fear is not bigger than my dreams and possibilities.

There is strength in understanding your fears. It is important to know where you fears are coming from in order combat them. Stopping them is not your ultimate goal. Your ultimate goal is to know why you fear. Why are you fearful of the move from an apartment into house? Is it the commitment to a mortgage or a fear that something may happen that will hinder you from paying the mortgage? Notice the difference in the questions, the first one is fear based and the second one is root based. The second question gets to the fear of poverty that something may happen that will stop you from being able to pay your bills and you could possibly become homeless. It is not just you; it is you, your children, spouse, and/or other family members. Those all compound the fear of poverty. You began to focus on the possible worst-case scenario because it could happen. That is true but the best-case scenario is also possible and more than likely more probable.

We all deal with things that are so important to us that the fear of loss of it begins to consume us and take the love and joy we should have away. Yet how do we stop it. We first must acknowledge the fear and figure out the root of the fear. Where is the basis of the fear, loss of love, poverty, death, disease, etc.? Once we know the root, we can recognize that our experiences do not have to be our future. We do not have to give it the power to dictate where lives can and will go. There are many things that are beyond our control but we can control the thoughts that we give life to. We can either choose to give life to our fears and anxiety or to dreams and possibilities.

Fear only has the power that we allow it to have. Fear like anything that grows, has no choice but to die if it is not nourished and cultivated it. So make the decision to acknowledge fear for what it is, a weed that needs to be feed. Choose this day and every day to feed your dreams and desires and make them bigger and deeper-rooted then your fears. So when your fears come they have no sun to bask in and die. 

I Buy Books from Dead People

I buy books from dead authors. What does that mean you ask? It means that there is no competition in the mind of abundance. Mark Twain does not tweet, Shakespeare does not have a LinkedIn account, Wallace D. Wattles does not have a like page on Facebook but I purchased books from those and other deceased authors either because their work (content) is something that interested me or something that I need.

It is easy to say that famous authors dead or alive will always be in demand because their work(s) is popular but that was not always the case. Take for example Samuel L. Clemens aka Mark Twain, he was flat broke and in need of a job when he began writing stories which depicted his distinct writing style. Once he shared what he know and what he loved, his works were well received and widely published. Though he had his own demons, which later affected his work, Mark Twain did not concern himself with the popularity of other writers versus himself he wrote about what he liked and thought was important to him. Another author Wallace D. Wattles (many of you are probably unfamiliar with him, he is considered the father of New Thought) had very little education yet studied the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Jesus, and many others he thought were significant. He turned his study and personal practice into what is known as New Thought. Many of his teachings and principles are found in current self-help books. He never saw himself in competition with say the likes of Emerson but in a purpose and service to the world.

By examining just two or three authors (deceased if possible), that you have read and like you could find the same correlation of having something to say that appeals to an audience versus what is popular or competitive. When you have something to say your voice will find an audience. For some it came close to or after death. For others it may have come later in life or after living a rather hard life. The most important note to take is that they did not write in fear of competition. They wrote because they had something to share. It was something that was within them that was compelled to come out. That goes for anything thing in life, a new business, a new product or service, a new career. Whatever is within you that is trying to come out, it is because it has something to say. Find your voice, listen to it, and trust it.

If you still are unsure then look at someone or business that is doing what you like or want to do. What makes them stand out? What are they really offering? If the answer to those two questions seem beyond your reach at this point then know that they didn't start there, they started exactly where you are, as an idea they wanted to share with the world. Now if you still cannot see it I will leave you with this, Apple and Microsoft. They both started in a garage with college dropouts. Now get to work, you have a voice that needs to be heard, the only true competition is with your fear.

DREAM BIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!